Online Dating – Why Does No-One Contact Me?

When people join an online dating service they tend to assume they will have a vast amount of messages sent to them from other members almost immediately. If you have been using these services for a while, you will probably realise that this isn’t always the case. Instead of blaming other members for the lack of messages in your inbox, it is always a good idea to look a little closer to home. There are several things that people do on their dating profile that can be unintentionally off putting to other members.

One of the first things someone will notice about your profile is a photo, or lack of photo. It is always suggested that you upload a photo if possible, otherwise others will assume you have something to hide or haven’t got a good appearance. Many people won’t even consider a profile unless it contains a picture, so you will be doing immediate harm to your online dating success if you choose not to upload one. If you do upload a photo make sure it clearly shows your face, preferably looking happy and smiling. By uploading a photo of you looking miserable no-one will feel the urge to contact you. The idea is to entice others to read the rest of your profile and by having a happy photo, you will be sending off a positive vibe.

Another huge mistake that people make is with the content of their message. It might be the easy option to keep the description basic and relatively short, but that doesn’t really give other members a lot to go on. If it includes something interesting about you, then you are more likely to receive mail as it gives other members something to ask you about when they contact you. Your description should also be easy to read with no spelling or grammar mistakes. Others don’t want to spend their time trying to decipher your profile, especially if you have used a lot of text speak, which isn’t recommended. Using text speak and slang can put others off you immediately. Other members are looking to read a profile that isn’t too long or too short, makes you sound like you really want to be there and is easy to understand.

Your attitude can really show in what you write. Try to appear positive and happy and write about what you like in life and what makes you smile. Avoid mentioning everything you hate in life as you will come across as being miserable and always finding something to moan about. If you have been hurt in the past by an ex partner, don’t appear aggressive and negative in your profile. Many people on dating websites have been hurt badly in the past by ex partners, so don’t assume you are the only one. Remember that everyone is different, so don’t compare others to the person that hurt you. If you generally class all men/women to be the same, then it’s no wonder that no-one will want to contact you. If you are recently out of a serious relationship, then joining an online dating service might not be a good idea as you could be on the rebound with many personal issues yet to resolve.

People can come across as being very picky. If you write a long list of criteria in your profile of how your ideal partner should and shouldn’t be, then again you are limiting the number of people who could contact you. There is nothing wrong in knowing what you want and having certain things that you like in someone, just try not to list every single little thing in your profile.

Everyone joins a dating website for different reasons, some are after a long term relationship, some a casual relationship and some are just after a one night stand. What ever it is you are after, try to be polite and honest in your profile so others know exactly what it is you are after. If you feel your profile follows these basic rules and you still don’t receive messages, think about sending out more messages yourself. Don’t just join a dating website and sit back waiting for others to contact you, get yourself out there and send messages to others which will increase your chances of being contacted. It can take time to have success on a dating website, you just need to stay positive and be patient.