Just when you think you know someone, they can do something to surprise you. Sometimes that surprise is a pleasant one, and sometimes it is just plain disappointing.
If you are someone who has been married for more than a year or two, such surprises should be pretty uncommon by now. After a while, for better or for worse, marriage can become a bit dull in that way.
However, there are some surprises we can encounter in a marriage that are very unwelcome indeed. For example, if you have found out that your husband has been using one of those online dating services, it is definitely news you wish you had never come across. But, now that you know, of course you need to do something about it.
After all, aren’t you just the least bit curious about what his real motivations are? What is your husband up to with this type of behavior that most wives would consider cheating – even if he has never actually been out on a date with another woman?
If you are asking yourself, “Why did my husband sign up for an online dating service?” Here are 3 possible reasons to consider:
The first possibility is that your husband’s life had gotten a bit dull lately and he has chosen to poke around in the dating site. Maybe he likes to fantasize about reading the various profile descriptions of other women, as if he were back in his single days again. Or, maybe he just likes the thrill of doing something he knows you would not approve of. This is the most innocent of the three possible reasons for his behavior.
The next possible reason for your husband visiting online dating sites would be if he is actually flirting with other women online. He may be sending out his profile or even chatting with women who are looking for a date. Your husband may be getting a lot of pleasure and excitement from doing this, even though he would never dream of actually meeting someone for a real date.
The final, and from your perspective least-desirable, possibility: your husband is actively pursuing a date with someone else – or maybe he has already gone out on a date. This would probably be devastating news to you, but at this point in the process you should strive to maintain a cool head as you figure out what to do next.
If you believe your husband has been visiting Internet dating sites, it is very important not to jump to conclusions. First, put together a plan for how you will approach him about the topic. Then, carry out your plan.
Remember, in all likelihood your husband is just looking for something to spice up his life a bit. If that is the case, then you could choose to look at this as a call for help in your relationship. It may be times to spice things up a bit. But first, you need to get at the root of any issues you have that could be causing him to seek outside stimulation.