So you just started dating someone new. A great new person is in your life and you are excited about the possibility of growing closer and sharing your life with them.
Slow down a bit.
All relationships take work, time and effort. They are a major aspect of our lives. And as such, they should not be rushed into. Take a moment to gauge what you are experiencing. Often times, we are so flush with the first emotions of love and infatuation, that we gloss over certain characteristics of the other person that we do not think of as highly.
I’m not advising to be paranoid and to look for problems, but I am advising to keep your eyes and ears open so that you don’t miss any clues. For example, is your new girlfriend constantly asking you a lot of questions about your exes or what you were doing with your friends last night? If so, she might be very interested in your life, but she might also be hiding a nasty case of insecurity and jealousy. Is your new boyfriend constantly trying to tell you what he would like you to wear? He could be a guy who just really enjoys certain attire on you, or he could be concealing a nasty controlling streak that you want to avoid.
The truth is that whatever problems we run into later in the relationship are usually readily apparent in the beginning, it’s just that 1) We are too eager to jump into the relationship and ignore the warning signals and 2) Since the relationship is new, the other person is doing their best to keep their problems under wraps and be on their best behavior.
You better believe that raging jealousy and insecurity will rear its head later on and only escalate. And you better believe that guy’s controlling behavior will intensify.
Enjoy your new relationship. But ease into it. Take it slow. And be open minded to be what you are observing. Because what you see is what you’ll get.