Dating has always been simple for some and impossible for others – so unfair, yet why should that be? On the face of it, there is no reason – there are billions of people on the planet and, no matter how quirky you may be, somewhere out there is the ideal partner for you. Dating is ultimately just a numbers game – “You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince”. But, if you are shy or your work means you don’t meet with possible boyfriend or girlfriend candidates, then you just don’t get as far as that first date and love will forever evade you.
I was like that. My work was in the construction industry and as a heterosexual male, there really weren’t too many dating opportunities. On top of that, my hours were very long and irregular and to get home late in the evening, eat, get dressed up and go out again knowing that I had to get back home sober enough to finish off the work I’d brought home with me was just too much.
My first thought was to turn to the personal ads to look for my ideal partner. No matter how blunt I was about what I was looking for, so many times I would turn up only to find that the date had lied. For example, I said that non-smoking was essential as was being in the 25 to 35 age group (I was about 27 at the time). I got fed up with hearing from 18 year olds with racking smokers coughs!
Eventually I realised that I needed to use the services of a dating agency. That way I could treat the whole thing a little more mathematically and try to find a girlfriend who had all of the qualities that I needed and none of the ones that I despised. I signed up with a national dating agency who used to send me a list of names every month and I would work my way through them but still no true love for me.
I nearly gave up trying to get a partner at this point. Since exceptions were still getting through the net it was obvious that the dating agency was clearly not being very thorough in its screening. I looked around and finally found another one which seemed very picky insisting on personally meeting each new member. I signed up and was given three names – all of whom supposedly met my criteria.
I only met one date from them and I married her 18 years ago this summer.
There is someone for everyone but it might take a time so bear with it and don’t give up on dating.